I Want You To Know

I like to blog.

I like to remember life.

I try to be real.

I, apparently, suck at that last part.

Let me preface this post by saying, I. Love. Life. and I. Love. My. Husband.

Yup. I do. Both are pretty darn good. And better than I deserve.

But let's be real.

Life is hard.

Let me preface the rest of this post by saying, I am in no way, shape, or form, complaining.

I'm just being real.

A friend sent me an email the other day. She reads my blog. She's a sweetheart.

I love real life friends that blog because it makes me feel like I know them so much better. And I feel like I have less 'explaining' to do of myself.

But.

She said something that hit me.

She said,

"You guys look like the cutest happiest most outgoing couple in your pictures."

Uhhh, whhhhaaaat?

Did she not read my post about Marriage being hard. Really, really, hard.

Or how bout the one where I talk about how ugly I really can be? (I know.. you are thinking, which one? Ha.)

I mean, I'm hesitant to post my "ugly," but in an effort to be 'real,' I do.

The truth is- nobody wants to read it. I actually lose "followers" and "hits" when I post about it.

Most people that read my blog would rather read about DIY projects, recipes, funny kid stories, and adorable kid photos.

They don't stick around for the ugly.

But blogging, to me, is not about that.

Blogging our life is about being able to look back and remember all the crazy good times. And to look back and laugh at all the times I thought were so tough. About feeling awesome about just how far we've come.

About remembering life.

All of it.

The good. The bad. And even the ugly.

So. Truth be told, YES, I have an amazing husband and a great life (thanks to my amazing Father above).

But.

We argue about the thermostat, the ceiling fan in the bedroom, and the never ending 'to do' list.

Our house is never clean. (We don't bother to pick up for guests because, I reason, I would just have to clean when they leave anyway. -Sometimes that works in our favor.... one great friend gave us an air purifier to clean the dust out of our house. Ha)

When unexpected bills come, my stomach flips. (Oh, we argue about money too.)

I am completely afraid about my job for next year (and more afraid of change than I care to admit).

Our dog does not come when called. In fact, all he can do is sit and high-five.

We have family members that don't talk to or like us. We pray about it all the time, but it hurts.

We'd love to be parents, but God has other plans for us right now.

I say stupid stuff all. the. time. And I didn't realize how insecure I was about it until Beth Moore went and told me. :)

And if you don't get the point by now, by all means, come hang out for a week and experience the dysfunction.

But.

My husband is good. My God is great.

And our life is wonderful.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Dirty dishes piled up in the sink and all.

PS -I hadn't posted this yet because I wanted my husband to give it the okay. But. I just saw the (in)courage post for today, "Her Life is Better Than Mine." I thought it pretty fitting. I've been guilty of reading other people's blogs and thinking they have it all together. (I mean cloth diapering, really?) ;) But the truth is, everyone faces their own battles. And really, who wants to take on someone else's when we all already have our own?

I think the biggest tool for me in getting over the 'feeling sorry for myself syndrome' has been my prayer journal. When I write down my friends and families hurts, needs, and wants, I stop focusing on my own as much.

And suddenly those 'dirty dishes' don't seem so bad at all.