Kelly from Kelly's Korner is hosting Wedding related "Show Us" posts the next several weeks. Perfect timing as R & I reflect on our wedding day.
But today, I want to reflect on our marriage.
"Honey, the last two years have been amazing and I can't wait for 52 more just like them!!"
Sort of...
You see, this is what I hear "newlyweds" (we do still get to be considered newlyweds, right?) say (or post on facebook, ahem) all the time. I, myself, wrote my husband a card with a similar line in it not long after we had been married.
But then.
Life. happened.
Contrary to what you see in the movies or read in romance novels,
marriage. is. not. easy.
I am always amazed when couples make it look easy (If it is really that easy, I need more info from them!).
But for
In the two years we have been married, we have faced a number of trials. Moving three times, health issues, death, family issues, work issues, financial issues, issues, issues, issues. Oh... and have I mentioned we built a house in there? (No... not paid someone to build a house, actually built a house). Oh... and did I mention we housed an in-law for awhile? Before we built the house. In our TINY apartment. Them. and their dog.
Those things take their toll. They cause stress, tension, frustration.
It's easy to let those things consume you.
But love doesn't allow it.
I've been doing the "Love Dare" lately (I can post this because R found it and the secrets out). It's harder to do than I thought it would be.
It really makes me think. Makes me work at loving and not just letting it happen. Causes me to lead my heart and not just follow it.
I know, I know. How many times have you heard, "follow your heart!" But the Love Dare (and the Bible) challenges you to not just follow your heart but to lead it.
"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered." --Proverbs 28:26
Walk wisely. It's hard to do. It's hard work. It's hard to choose to love when you don't feel like loving.
Reading this makes me wonder... do couples that get divorced just not feel like loving anymore? How many of us confuse love (or happiness for that matter) as a feeling instead of a choice? Okay.... you are right. Often times, initially, love is a feeling. But what happens when that feeling isn't as strong? What happens when tension is high and life's stress is taking its toll? Do you still feel in love? If not, are you willing to choose to love?
The Love Dare gives this example (keep in mind this is my loose translation.....): You have a car worth $1,000. It will cost $2,000 to repair it. What do you do? Most of us would replace it with a different vehicle. Makes sense.
Now let's say you cut your hand off in an accident. Would you be willing to pay whatever amount you could afford to get the best medical treatment available to fix it? Of course we would.
The problem is that many people treat marriage like the first example. It's broke. It's too much (money, time, energy, etc.) to repair it. So they trade it in. It's so easy to trade it in. Why go to the trouble to repair it when you don't feel like it?
Why aren't we (as a society) not treating our marriages more like our hand, a vital part of our very being? Why are we not willing to fight for it? I love the quote from the book (and the song, and the movie), "Love is not a fight, but it's worth fighting for."
So R, I know we have had life thrown in our face the last couple years but I am so thankful, so blessed, that you have chosen not to fight me, but to fight for me. That you not only feel in love with me, but that you also choose to love me. It has been a great two years. And I am looking forward to the next 52!
I'm looking forward to more walks, more movie nights, more late night chats, more family time, more porch swing sitting, more fireside sitting, more laughter, more dinners out, more vacations, more adventures, more (basketball), more projects, more shopping.
More love.
More you.
Happy Anniversary!
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